I caught up with some friends this past week, who are in the medical profession and asked them about my recent bout with that recent show. It was suggested that I found my boundaries. Which duh, I guess so! Anyhow I was going to see a concert with some friends here soon and after all that I had gone through I was really ready to give up my tickets.
The more I think about it the more stress and foreboding it causes me to put myself in that kind of position. I have tickets for shows through march at different venues and I really don’t want to attend any of them. I guess the truth is I am kinda scared.
Music has always created so much happiness and comfort in my life, and right now I am feeling not good about it.
I’ve got some questions…Like how much is too much? Can to much of a good thing make me crazy? How can I desensitize myself and is that possible? Or will I always have to get a seat on the left or right 5 to 10 rows back at the end for easy exits.
I leave a concert willingly at least 2-3 times to catch a break. I’m the person that will willingly go get beers just to get out for that breather .
I really don’t want to end up with problems, right now its fun (use to be anyways)and I would like to keep it that way.
Note…I can’t believe I put myself in such a compromising and stupid position! Yet it was bound to happen sooner or later I guess. That last show was miserable and I hate that it was because in different circumstances I would have enjoyed it.